THE TEN TYPES OF SEX-PROS & CONS

Hey Hey Honeys!

Soooo.....extremely bored, can't stand the sight of anything I have to study...AAAND I haven't written in a while...so enjoy the list of "The Ten Types Of Sex" plus their PROS & CONS XD

1. OUTDOOR SEX:

Pros- Dirty, wild, getting in touch with nature...pppffft...ok probably more like, too many people around so the two of y’all are gona nip into the bushes for a lil one on one. But still...pretty damn great!

Cons- The obvious reason of getting caught...or worse arrested, the nasty bug things that seem to appear out of nowhere, grass stains that are impossible to get out, and the temperamental weather...just when you’re getting some it pisses rain...great, just friggin’ great.



2. SHOWER SEX:

Pros-Kinky, hot and steamy, not to mention clean! Really...need I say more?!

Cons-The ever attractive look of panda eyes when your make up literally melts off your face, the major lack of space and the pure skill needed to manoeuvre in a particularly cramped shower, also the risk of injury from slipping....



3. KITCHEN SEX:

Pros-Everyone has a kitchen therefore plenty of kitchen counters to christen, add a pinch of the thrill of being caught and a teaspoon of creativity and you gots yourself some good sex!

Cons- Getting caught by the folks or siblings while doing the nasty on the kitchen table, falling off said counter/table while doing something particularly risqué,the possibility of turning on the electric hob while doing the nasty only to overheat and possibly mildly burn yourself on said hob...AND having to face the guilt for the next week due to defiling the kitchen...



4. CAR SEX:

Pros- Any place, anywhere, anytime. The quick and easy escape, yet again the thrill of getting caught (very outgoing peeps you are!! ). The ever popular quickie in the front/back seats (wherever has more room :P )

Cons- It’s a car...soooo it’s going to be awkward when movement is required due to lack of space even with seats rolled back! Being a car..it also has at least 6ish windows so being caught by two poor aul ladies innocently walking past does have its draw backs!



5. DESK SEX:

Pros-Easy, efficient and oh so naughty. Nothing better than a lil secretary fantasy on a desk.

Cons-Bet you wished you hadn’t whipped everything off your desk in the heat of the moment when you spend the next day refiling everything in alphabetical order hmmm? The realisation that you have a very shocked audience in the corresponding building...



6. WASHING MACHINE SEX:

Pros- It’s fun, it’s different, and yes you do feel a little like a dirty mistress! When turned on...well let’s just say it’s noisy and vibrates...enough said...

Cons- Falling off washing machine in a very unattractive way due to severe lack of surface area or, God forbid...get motion sickness...



7. UP AGAINST A TREE SEX:

Pros-Feeling like escaping the norm? When the good old fashioned wall has become too boring a tree certainly spices things up...nature and its wildness..yada yada yada...it’s a tree.

Cons-Two words that even rival carpet burn....bark rash...



8. SOFA SEX:

Pros-Easy peeezy sofa pleasy?...it’s there, it’s comfy and it’s relatively rectangular...it’s a little bit more casual than the bedroom and candles lark and plus...it’s not too far from the ground if one should fall off..

Cons- Never quite enough room for that one poor leg that always seems to hang off, and it’s usually in the sitting room for God’s sake...you’re asking to be caught!!



9. FLOOR SEX:

Pros-Lil bit more hardcore than the bed, gives the usual “wham-bam-thank-you-mam” a little more...oooomff...it hardly ever squeaks, and unless you own a floor-drobe, there should be tonnes of room!!

Cons- The floor is relatively hardcore but definitely fucking hard, unless you are the lucky fucker who has carpet. Wooden floors can cause unwanted slipping ....and carpet buuuuuurns!!!



10. PLAIN OL' BED SEX:

Pros-It is THE original sex place and there’s definitely enough room to get the job done (unless you have one of those crappy beds in Maynooth *you know who you are LOL*). It is comfy, has lots of covers to hide under if you are self conscious...and...it’s bouncy :P

Cons-Usually it squeaks like a mother fucka, hits against a wall, and can make sex a little boring for those who like to mix things up!

Hope it brings a little LOL to the exams guys!!

Love Always

Your One And Only PitBitch

xXx