The 6 Annoying People Around Exam Time

So just going to jump right in here...
We all know those people who are a real pain in the hole around exam time... The ones that can push your stressed buttons to the limit and then some. You may be the one who is calm,collected and prepared before an exam, who sits there and writes an essay faster than the Lost Causes can figure out they haven't written anything yet,,,or you may be the person frantically doing an all-nighter, who comes in the next day twitching on energy drinks and can hardly write their own name...Whichever one you are there will always be someone that will piss you off around exams...or maybe it's just me...oh well...someone's pissed me off enough to write this so here it goes XD

(1) The person who has already revised everything a month before the exam date and makes you freak out about how little you know. I'm just not sure how they do it...i mean... if they were a superhero their power would have to be organisation...how do you plan a month in advance?! i can hardly be ready for something that's happening this week let alone be prepared for ANYTHING in advance,,,Do they plan their whole life around studying? I'd hate to have a plan... could never stick to a study plan...faaaar too structured! Where's the excitement? What about the challenge of a good ol' cramming session the night before? Too risqué for you? Fair enough, fair enough...i'll stick to being daring you stick to your nazi regime. You may be passing things but my life is filled with the unknown of how little study is enough study =]

(2) The person who does absolutely sweet FA but manages to pass everything. You start studying before them, finish after them, worry and care more than them yet they breeze through after reading 70 slides and pass....They're probably the luckiest fuckers you will meet...or else the BEST crammers this side of europe.... Either way you want to strangle them when they go on about how little they did and how surprised they were to pass.... i WILL garrotte you the next time it happens...i swear to all the gods of Vet School you will be punished!!!....grrrrrr......(*insert angry face)

(3) The person who keeps bringing up every little detail just after the exam making you doubt what you wrote down. We have all done it and honestly it's fine up to a point...but 2 days after they exam when you're STILL going on about it...that's when it gets irritating. No one can remember what we put down for question 2 and to be quite frank..no one fucking cares at this stage! STOP TALKING!....PLEASE?

(4) The person who makes various FB statuses (stati ?) counting down the number of exams they have left...Yes that's a good boy,oh you're so so good! You've figured out how to count! You've gone from 6 all the way down to 4 and by now you can probably figure out where you should shove exam no. 3 when you're done with it! (<-to be said as if talking to a stupid puppy dog)...I'm not quite sure why FB needs a count down of how many exams anyone has left actually i'm pretty sure no one cares...well maybe i care...just a lil...because it pisses me off...just a lil...just a tiny bit...

(5) The person who posts statuses about which exams they passed! i'm truly happy that you passed but seriously....no need to rub it in...we get it...you can pass things AND be shocked about it....wow.....What do you want a fucking medal? YAY so you got a 15 in physiology whoop-de-doo...i am happy for you, really i am but post another status like that and i will shove that 15 so far up your a$$ you'll REALLY appreciate it!

(6) And last but not least the person who writes moany blogs about the kind of people that piss her off around exam time. You read the blog...you know who she is...and she is sorry,,,but these things just have to be said or she'll end up being the crazy girl with the shot-gun roaming the school grounds! =D

NOTE: I would just like to point out that i am of course happy for everyone who passes things. It's really great, i mean you're going places in life =] The odd time a success is posted up on FB is perfectly fine but please...we've had 8 physiology midterms..if i know what you got on every one simply from FB, you're posting waaay too much online =] Congrats though!

Good Luck With Your Exams Bitches!

Loves & Cuddles

Your One And Only PitBitch

xXx

Everybody Needs A Bossom For A Pillow

So i've been at odds about what to write for a while and honestly i was a little bit inspired for this one....ok maybe not...i was listening to "A Brimful Of Asha" and i have to admit, i always thought he was singing " a van full of rashers on the 45" but that's beside the point =] Best line in the song has to be "everybody needs a bossom for a pillow"..just luuuurve it...so decided that this time this one is for the laydays :P

So we've all got em'..big,small,non-existant,Jordon-esque. And most guys love 'em =]Well they are THAT amazing =] We go out and buy lil frilly,polka-dotty,backless,plunge,padded,GEL packed over-the-shoulder-boulder-holders all because..well i suppose they can be described as two very major assests in our appearance so we want to excentuate their puuurdyness...LMAO...maybe when you're an old timer you'll be buying bras just to stop them dragging behind you..but for now i believe perky is the correct word people are after. Whether you look like a 5 year old boy or you have bagongas to rival ol' Pamela Anderson you want the twins to look good!

Which leads me to the question,,,is bigger better?! In somethings :P Bigger=Definately better...but i have heard around the male watering hole (aka my very drunk male friends who i've coaxed into dishing all) that there is a limit! Apparantly a good handful each is the desired amount! i'm sorry lads...we gon't exactly pre-order them! " errm sorry i would like them to be a good handful each, perfectly sculpted and perky to boot" pppppfttt...keep off the porn fellas :P So if you have too little they have nothing to cup and too much and they get smothered?!.. I used to feel like i was more of a pear shaped but now thanks to my sheer lazyness and a pizza a day i'm a puurrdy curvy hourglass (bear in mind that's with the good ol' spanx on otherwise i think i'd just be a shapeless blob) and honestly i wouldn't change it! i still look at skinny a$$ girls and think "damn i want to look like that you stick insect" but then again if they ever fell down the stairs they'd break all their bones...i on the other hand would merely bounce no matter if i fell a$$ first or face XD it's the benefits of extra insulation if you get me :P

It's a sad fact that i only discovered motorboating when i began college...well i didn't so much discover it...it was more like one of my female friends who shall not be named motorboated me as i stood there in complete horror! i suppose you need atleast a C cup to be motorboated so for those poor unfortunates out there who have never experienced this enlightening...erm passtime(?!)...you're missing out XD

I always said to myself that when i could put on my lipgloss like yer wann did in "The Breakfast Club" (without pushing them together mind you)that i was going places XD Well finally reached that place and i must say...it's gooood =] Now anytime i get drunk and the drink completely misses my mouth i have no more worries of stained clothes...it just goes straight down! Am i the only one who finds this? or is the skill of spilling drink down my top (literally) just mine alone?! Popcorn is another issue...i swear it goes down..gets lost and i'm never going to find it again! A good side of it is i could probably hide a nagen and not get caught!

Everybody needs a bosson for a pillow!! XD

Love & Fondles Darlings
Your One And Only PitBitch
xXx

Meh Going Out...Not Bothered...

Hey!

So...yeah...it's been a while....actually had a life over the summer and wasn't really that arsed to bitch and moan about shtuff like i usually do!!! Now that i'm back in college however....well let's just say informatics and agroeconomics are both a MAHOOSIVE pain in the hole... but that's for another rant (i'll wait until they really piss me off)...i wana get talkin' bout the goin' outs and abouts =]

Is it just me or is it becoming more of an effort to get up and go out? Like you'd never think that the thought of going for a few drinks would induce some incomprehencible noise of irritation at the fact that you have to get up off your a$$ and walk out the door! In the past year i feel like i've aged another 10 years! It's pretty ridiculous! Looking back (not too far tbh)i feel like i was always up for going out, the late nights, lots of drink and even more dancing. Now i'm more of a pre-drinks kinda gal who fecks off home early with a gyros or two...Which is awesome for my sleeping pattern but not so much for the ol' social life (or the waist line for that matter)....i'm feeling as if i should be checking into an old folks home any day now, all i need is a walking stick, deteriorating sight and one of those dinky clap-on-clap-off lights....life=sorted!

Maybe i've just become lazier but honestly, that's nearly impossible at this stage! I'm just not up for the effort of wearing heels anymore,,,the hours of getting ready are just too much hassle and i usually look like shit by the end of the night anyway....and the fact that i have gotten better at holdin' the ol' alcohol means that i nearly have to make my liver wana jump out of my body before i get shitfaced...(<- bad bad BAD). So you finally make it to the club and yes there's been many many amazing nights and also the absolute shitty ones! Always accompanied by the lovely classy riff-raff-Yes i AM dancing, no not with you, don't whip that out, i will break your hand off if you put it there, and no you will have no luck if you try it out with my friend either....Then there's either the usual nausiating taxi ride or the sobering walk home (plus the compulsary stop for food along the way) You wake up the next moring to the ol' hangover and wondering why you thought drinking a litre of vodka was a good idea in the first place? (and reeeeallly wishing your mom hadn't picked this time to put you on weight watchers and try to make you eat tuna for lunch...*SHUDDER*GAG*)

It's quite pathetic to think that most of us need drink to have a good night out ( yes it does aid in forgetting how terrible you look after singing loudly and dancing energetically to the music ) but we used to have fun without it...didn't we?...i...i don't really remember!!! i'm going off on a tangent here but during the summer i had a girlie movie night with some of the old school gals but even though we hadn't seen each other in forever we couldn't think of anything to say *akward silence*oh this movie is good!...i've never seen it....oh cool*akward silence* all i kept thinking was jeez we need some voddy to warm things up! The only time i saw friends was when we were out!!! Sad really! =( meh oh well :P Good ol' Silvers need a fucking litre of voddy to even get it started!

Hmmmm.... so where was i? oh yeah..being lazy and all that jazz..it's probably a great thing that i don't feel like going out..but then again it's not like i use my time very well...instead of going out for a meal tonight i decided i'd stay at home and get cracking on some physio lab stuff...ended up falling asleep watching 300...woke up 2hrs later only to roll out of bed to go out with little or no effort.Even then, the decision was a toughie...to go out and socialize or to lie in bed and watch LA ink on you tube....such is life.

Soooo..... it's 5.57am and i should be fast asleep seeing as i came home 2hrs ago but it's only occurred to me that i've been sipping away at a can of Monster and it's not exactly a pro-sleep kinda drink! I'm going to watch Princess and the Frog for the millionth time ( it is an epic fantabulous movie peeps and for anyone who hates it...shame on you...tsk tsk....) Gona leave ya and love ya!

Nighty Night Darlin's
Love Always
Your One And Only PitBitch
xXx

THE TEN TYPES OF SEX-PROS & CONS

Hey Hey Honeys!

Soooo.....extremely bored, can't stand the sight of anything I have to study...AAAND I haven't written in a while...so enjoy the list of "The Ten Types Of Sex" plus their PROS & CONS XD

1. OUTDOOR SEX:

Pros- Dirty, wild, getting in touch with nature...pppffft...ok probably more like, too many people around so the two of y’all are gona nip into the bushes for a lil one on one. But still...pretty damn great!

Cons- The obvious reason of getting caught...or worse arrested, the nasty bug things that seem to appear out of nowhere, grass stains that are impossible to get out, and the temperamental weather...just when you’re getting some it pisses rain...great, just friggin’ great.



2. SHOWER SEX:

Pros-Kinky, hot and steamy, not to mention clean! Really...need I say more?!

Cons-The ever attractive look of panda eyes when your make up literally melts off your face, the major lack of space and the pure skill needed to manoeuvre in a particularly cramped shower, also the risk of injury from slipping....



3. KITCHEN SEX:

Pros-Everyone has a kitchen therefore plenty of kitchen counters to christen, add a pinch of the thrill of being caught and a teaspoon of creativity and you gots yourself some good sex!

Cons- Getting caught by the folks or siblings while doing the nasty on the kitchen table, falling off said counter/table while doing something particularly risqué,the possibility of turning on the electric hob while doing the nasty only to overheat and possibly mildly burn yourself on said hob...AND having to face the guilt for the next week due to defiling the kitchen...



4. CAR SEX:

Pros- Any place, anywhere, anytime. The quick and easy escape, yet again the thrill of getting caught (very outgoing peeps you are!! ). The ever popular quickie in the front/back seats (wherever has more room :P )

Cons- It’s a car...soooo it’s going to be awkward when movement is required due to lack of space even with seats rolled back! Being a car..it also has at least 6ish windows so being caught by two poor aul ladies innocently walking past does have its draw backs!



5. DESK SEX:

Pros-Easy, efficient and oh so naughty. Nothing better than a lil secretary fantasy on a desk.

Cons-Bet you wished you hadn’t whipped everything off your desk in the heat of the moment when you spend the next day refiling everything in alphabetical order hmmm? The realisation that you have a very shocked audience in the corresponding building...



6. WASHING MACHINE SEX:

Pros- It’s fun, it’s different, and yes you do feel a little like a dirty mistress! When turned on...well let’s just say it’s noisy and vibrates...enough said...

Cons- Falling off washing machine in a very unattractive way due to severe lack of surface area or, God forbid...get motion sickness...



7. UP AGAINST A TREE SEX:

Pros-Feeling like escaping the norm? When the good old fashioned wall has become too boring a tree certainly spices things up...nature and its wildness..yada yada yada...it’s a tree.

Cons-Two words that even rival carpet burn....bark rash...



8. SOFA SEX:

Pros-Easy peeezy sofa pleasy?...it’s there, it’s comfy and it’s relatively rectangular...it’s a little bit more casual than the bedroom and candles lark and plus...it’s not too far from the ground if one should fall off..

Cons- Never quite enough room for that one poor leg that always seems to hang off, and it’s usually in the sitting room for God’s sake...you’re asking to be caught!!



9. FLOOR SEX:

Pros-Lil bit more hardcore than the bed, gives the usual “wham-bam-thank-you-mam” a little more...oooomff...it hardly ever squeaks, and unless you own a floor-drobe, there should be tonnes of room!!

Cons- The floor is relatively hardcore but definitely fucking hard, unless you are the lucky fucker who has carpet. Wooden floors can cause unwanted slipping ....and carpet buuuuuurns!!!



10. PLAIN OL' BED SEX:

Pros-It is THE original sex place and there’s definitely enough room to get the job done (unless you have one of those crappy beds in Maynooth *you know who you are LOL*). It is comfy, has lots of covers to hide under if you are self conscious...and...it’s bouncy :P

Cons-Usually it squeaks like a mother fucka, hits against a wall, and can make sex a little boring for those who like to mix things up!

Hope it brings a little LOL to the exams guys!!

Love Always

Your One And Only PitBitch

xXx

TRANSLATE THE FUCKING HUNGAIRAN...

Hey Honeys,

Haven't written in a while..mainly because i have had nothing worthwhile to say and nothing interesting has happened!! Feeling rather like a social recluse at the moment due to exams and such and i really doubt you are interested in how i wake up in the PM, lounge around all day, order pizza, and basically do sweet fuck all (pathetic i know...) But tonight something just REALLY pissed me off...it won't apply to people back in good ol' Ireland but those of us abroad might be effected (affected??! meh...i'll never know...) by it...

How many of you have gone onto a webpage and found you couldn't understand a word because it's written in bloody Hungarian?!! I can usually figure most things out...and SOMETIMES gooogle translate gets it's a$$ in gear and translates the odd word..but the majority of the time i'm left with ridiculously long words with too many Zs and not enough resemblence to the English words. I've been here for close to 9 months and so far i've kept my cool but right now i'm on the verge of fucking the damn computer out the window.. Possibly an over reaction but desperate times...

First i just want to say that google translate (GT) is a load of bollix on my computer...as much as my computer rebels against me i still expect the basic functions of translating to work... but apparantly not.... I have been forced to try and learn such words as "subscriptions" and "My videos" in the case of YouTube, where it appears that GT does not have the vocab or comprehension to be able to do it for me. I mean..isn't that SUPPOSED to be its JOB?!!! ....grrrr.....At the moment i cannot figure out how to add music to my playlists because of the hungarian-english language barrier and am in constant fear that by pressing a word i don't recognise i will either cancel my account or report some poor fucker for abuse.... The same actually goes for this blog...i do NOT know what "Blogger Dashboard" is in Hungarian so as you can see i've had issues even getting into my Blog to write this.... >=(

I just don't understand why the computer thinks i'm Hungarian?!! The ONLY Hungarian sites i ever go to are the college site and Netpincer (for ordering food..mmm...pizza...) I've asked it VERY nicely to translate Hungarian and my language is clearly set to English, yet this computer, which probably has a larger memory than i do, can barely keep itslef in English. Maybe i am just over reacting but it's feckin' annoying!!! TRANSLATE MY YOUTUBE BACK BITCH!!!!!! =( And also...a little note to Facebook...No i do NOT speak Magyar, I still couldn't the fifth time you asked me, and even the sixth. No matter how many times you ask me dear Facebook, the answer will still be "No i do not speak fucking Magyar, and by the looks of the bloody language i never will. So stop assuming that just because i live here i'm fluent!!!"

I would write a rather nasty, angry e-mail to the people behind Google Translate if i ever thought someone would actually read it or give a damn that some poor student in Hungary can't read her stupid YouTube account, but now that i've vented my anger i'll leave it another month or so before i get pissed with the translator again... =)

*oh and one more thing...i tried spell checking this but seeing as i am apparantly hungarian every word here is wrong according to the computer...so i do apologise for the mistakes etc...

Love As Always

Your One And Only PitBitch

xXx

Failure?

how many times do you have to fail before you think enough is enough? before you take a step back and look at yourself and think." am i really meant for this?". How many more failures can you take before you give up? before it becomes meaningless? Before you can't even remember why you want to be there and try in the first place. That is a lot of befores and a lot of failures. But wouldn't stopping pre-failure hurt less than the time after failure? somehow the old "well i tried" doesn't exactly bring much comfort.

Every time i fail it takes a little more out of me...a person who isn't used to failing...isn't used to being in the bottom 6% rather than the top. Every day there is a little more failure and a little less reason to get up in the morning. Sometimes i think i can't sleep at night because i don't want to get up the next morning, that sleeping through the day is more preferable than facing it. Dreams are happier places sometimes when reality becomes a nightmare. This IS my nightmare. i am failing. i feel alone. i feel like sleeping through the day beacuse i can't find anything worthwhile to get up for.

i could leave. but wouldn't that be another failure? not only a failure but a quitter. i can stick it out...but i can't take 5 more years of this. i want to be back where i feel like i'm myself. i'm not myself here. the people aren't the same. it doesn't work. i'm self conscious i can't say or do certain things even with my new "close" friends. that's not how i want to be. not how i should be. if i could let myself cry over immaterial things like this i wouldn't stop crying for days. if i was a cutter i would be in hospital for blood loss, if i had an ED i would have starved myself into a critical condition, if i was an attention whore i would have told people this, if i was me i could have told someone...but i couldn't even bare to tell my boyfriend i had failed another exam. i couldn't do it. i still can't. it's like admitting that the dream you always thought would happen is just that little bit out of your reach with a sign hanging from it saying "sorry love, you're just not good enough". that is my biggest fear. not being good enough. i have worked all my life to please. the best in everything i did. EVERYTHING. and yet when i'm here no one sees any of it. none of the things i can do. they don't see of know me. but then again..i don't see or know them either.

With Love
Me
xXx

PONY-BOY VS. GODDESS

Helloooo People!

Ok...FUNNIEST FB conversation EVER!!! This guy seems to stalk Yvonne...but this is what happened when Jesse got hold of the computer (with a little help from us :P )!!!

He types in random names into FB and adds the hot girls...then TELLS them they're hot....smoooth...he plays mafia wars...asks people to talk to him on his status updates...became a fan of American Idol and The X-Factor...and is an avid fan of the Be Naughty app on FB...

Yes we did do our fair share of FB stalking :P and i must draw your attention to the fact that he has NEVER met Yvonne before... but briefly knew a friend of hers....!!!

ENJOY MUTHA FUCKAAAAS!!! :P

Me: hey sexy

Conor: hiya u fine thing

Me: i wanna ride you like a pony

you stallion you

rawr

Conor: well work away u goddess

Me: oh you naughty boy you

do you have a webcam?

i feel dirty

Conor: yh wot ur msn

Me: gullible@hotmail.com

Conor: added u there

Me: deadly gimme a sec my internets being a bit of a dick tonight

Conor: ok

Me: be on in a sec(sy) 

Conor: ok

Me: shit msn isnt working

wanna just chat here?

Conor: nnnnnnnnnnoooooooooooooooo

ok

Me: awwww im sowwy

what did you wanna do?

Conor: can u try again mistress

wot ever u want

Me: mistress?? are you married?

Conor: no

Me: haha

do you have a girlfriend?

Conor: me no im single y

Me: just making sure 

Conor: ru single now

Me: yep how could you tell sexy? you got me thinking about when i come home and how i wanna be single...

Conor: really

Me: yep

x

Conor: xxxx

Me: aw kisses

Conor: u r fit

Me: your eclectic vocabulary is astonishing - you really are a cunning linguist

such a turn on

Conor: who me

Me: yes you

couldnt be

then who?

Conor: no ur

Me: no you ARE

Conor: no u r

can u try ur msn

Me: tell me what you like about me?

nah it doesnt work in hungary...some copyright thing

Conor: ur smile eyes n everything bout u

Me: but we've never met..

talk dirty to me...i dont wanna hear about my eyes and my smile...

Conor: i wanna lick ur bush

Me: i dont have a bush babe! porn star style 

ooh you're making me hot

Conor: i want to do u doggy

Me: what do you mean? you wanna do my dog? or i am a dog? or youre a dog? or.....what?

WOOF

Conor: i want to do u up the ass

Me: youre probably too big for me stud

Conor: no im not sexy

u goddess

Me: i highly doubt that...you seem like a big boy

Conor: no seem to be big naught girl

u deserve a spanking

Me: so you're small? 

Conor: a bit shorter than u goddess

Me: im not talking about height babe...im talking about girth

Conor: the only way to know is to try it out bbe

Me: cant wait! but id like some feedback regarding the dimensions of your phallis

Conor: wot

Me: how big is your fuckin lad lad?

Conor: 3inch i think

Me: long or wide?

Conor: long

Me: thats good. do you know how to use it?

Conor: yep

Me: how many girls have you fucked pony-boy?

get it?

cos your a stallion!

Conor: too many but i want u

Me: have you been tested?

cos i need to know if youre clean

like i wont fuck till i know if youv been tested

like i need to see results

i cant sleep with you till i see a clean bill of health

seriously

Conor: i was jokin on how many i slept wit

Me: are you a virgin?

me too!

Conor: me too

Me: will you be my first?

Conor: yh if will be my 1st                 [note from Jesse...this is where I started to feel bad..but didnt stop]

Me: awesome pony boy

see you in 2 months

wait for me!

Conor: defo u goddess do u want my number

Me: yeh gimme your number

ill call you when im back home  we can meet

Conor

it 08******** defo meet up

so r we a couple                                  [Another note from Jesse....this is where we knew it was too far...still funny though]

Me: actually

i wanna be single

forget this whole thing ever happened

shit

Conor: y

You are not online.

Do NOT judge us... it was HILARIOUS... until we realized he was being completely serious...

Pweeeez leave comments about what was your favourite part  XD These are our favourite gems =)       

=>

Jesse: "gullible@hotmail.com"

Yvonne: "3 inches...long"

Cathy: "Pony-Boy"

Me: "What do you mean? you wanna do my dog? or i am a dog? or you're a dog? or...what? WOOF"

Love As Always Darlings

Love Your One And Only PitBitch

xXx